Soo here we go. Ahh it’s been a long long time coming. Years in my dreams, months in the planning, weeks preparing and now one day away. As long as I can remember, I’ve had a thought that then when I’m done with school, I’ll just leave for a while, all by myself. Where? Asia. Two reasons, besides the fact I’ve always loved Asia: climate and cheapness. Okay, and food. Feels far too real to say it out loud but tomorrow I’m leaving to solotravel Southeast Asia for two months. *insert a nervous giggle
So what is my plan? Well, I have two way tickets to Bangkok since it’s the cheapest. I do have a some sort of itinerary that I’ll stick to if things don’t change which they will. But I’m very not sure yet where I’ll go. My first stop is Chiang Mai in northern Thailand but that’s all I know for sure. The thing is, I’m trying to do something very uncharacteristic for me this time: I’ve been trying not to plan too much. You know, just kind of go there and wing it, do how I feel. And trust me, the inner me hates this. For a control-freak person who plans absolutely everything from a busride inside Helsinki to a menu at every dinner party, finds out as much as possible in advance while conducting a thorough research on every place I’ll travel to, this has been extremely difficult. It has caused stress, nerve-wracking anxiety and sleepless (take this literally) nights. Why bother, you ask. Shouldn’t it be fun to go? Yes it is. I’m overly excited and I’ve been waiting for this for years but I take this also as an opportunity to try and get out of my comfort zone, where everything is carefully planned and controlled. It’s like challenging myself, as cliche as it sounds. And oh boy has it been uncomfortable. Also fun though, but mostly very…not me.
One thing that’s been funny to watch has been people’s reactions when they ask who I’m going with and I just say ”alone this time”. ”WHAT?” ”WHY?” ”You tiny girl?” ”Won’t you get lonely?” Probably yes and no. I hope to meet new people better this way when traveling alone but I also know I’ll be spending lots of time alone. It doesn’t feel like a bad thing though. It’s not supposed to be a ”Eat, Pray, Love / I will go and find myself” and all that type of trip I guess, or call it what you want to, but I do take it as a chance to spend some time with me and also, as I said, as a kind of growing experience. People grow in new environments out of their comfort zones and that’s where I’ll be pushing myself. Am I more nervous going alone? Yes of course. I’ve been terrified at times (including now) but I’ll deal with it. It will all be good eventually. And do try and tell this to my grandma who thinks I’ve lost it completely and who said she ”won’t be sleeping” while I’m gone.
Now I am writing this with my backpack all packed, just missing some final things. There is something very calming knowing that that’s your life for two months, in that 50 liter backpack. I’ve been from pure excitement to absolute panic and from ”I cannot do this I’ll cancel my flights” to ”I’ll be fine”. Now I’m there somewhere in between. Excited? Yes. Terrified? Yes. Panicking? Yes. But over all that I think eventually this will be one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.
P.S. I don’t yet know how much or if at all I’ll be updating my blog from the road. It depends on a) how good the wifi is and b) how much I have time. But you are more than welcome to join on my trip through instagram (@juliaelleonora) which I’ll probably be shamelessly spamming if the wifi only allows and at snapchat (juliaelleonora there as well)