Oh my, I don’t remember when I’ve been this tired. Not sleepy tired, studying tired. I couldn’t even come up with a title (if you can help I’m very grateful) and that’s very alarming. Now I feel I know why studying ends in -dying. You know the same way how you feel like after exercising when your muscles are sore I feel like my head is sore. It’s very full. I have my matriculation examination (like finals for those who don’t know) next week on history and English and I’ve been just studying and studying for weeks and I feel like my head is very soon about to explode.
Oh that heavenly feeling next Wednesday when it’s all over and I’m finally free to do some normal, nice things again, things I love. I’m just going to cook and bake and write and do yoga and see my friends and throw a housewarming party and sleep. You know, when your life is very much engaged with one certain thing like studying for a while you somehow learn to appreciate your “normal” life in a whole other level. Do you know what I mean? Oh well, won’t be long now. I’m just that kind of person that when I do something, I do it 100%, with all I’ve got. Some may say that hey you could study a little less and still do fine but I just can’t help myself, it’s like it’s built in me. At least then I’ll know I did my absolute best and won’t have to regret anything.
But I always have time for poetry. I’ve been reading some Kahlil Gibran lately and I’m truly in love. He says so many things like they had been taken straight from my mind and with such beauty. So I thought I’d share one since that is all I have time for now. It’s called Joy and Sorrow (Chapter VIII) and it has become like one of my favorite poems of all time, like a mantra or something. It’s so very true and I wish I’d always remember it.
Then a woman said, “Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.”
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
Julia xxx (& Lilo, the cat)
P.S. To my fellow students reading this who have some of their finals now as well, good luck!! We can do this 😉 It will go well and if it doesn’t then you can just bake. I know I will. It’s always suitable.